Occasional Reader 1/3/2021 7:09:13 AM

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Speaking of lots and lots of food...

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/nela-zisser-chicken-nuggets-guinness-worldrecord_n_5fe6039ac5b6ff747980f68b

lucius septimius 1/3/2021 8:07:40 AM

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Reply to Occasional Reader in 1:

If it's done based on weight, hobbits have a distinct advantage.

buzzsawmonkey 1/3/2021 8:33:21 AM

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Occasional Reader 1/3/2021 8:49:12 AM

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In #3 buzzsawmonkey said: How?

Scrambled.

/punchline to a very old joke

buzzsawmonkey 1/3/2021 8:53:36 AM

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Reply to Occasional Reader in 4:

I blush to confess I don't know the setup.

Occasional Reader 1/3/2021 8:55:16 AM

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JCM 1/3/2021 8:56:15 AM

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Reply to buzzsawmonkey in 3:

Socialism via public health emergency.

buzzsawmonkey 1/3/2021 9:07:35 AM

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In #6 Occasional Reader said: Anecdotally, at least, I’m suddenly hearing about a lot more people getting COVID-19, people who I know, than has been the case at any time since the thing started. Of course, anecdotal, small sample size, etc.

If more sheep are lining up for "testing" (why? if you are asymptomatic, who cares?), and if the tests are as grossly inaccurate as they say (supposedly, the 15-minute test is merely about 60% accurate, while the more-involved overnight test soars to maybe 80%) then of course you're going to hear about "a lot more people getting COVID." 

As far as I can see, the whole purpose of the push for "testing" is to get everyone possible "on record," to "keep control," and to be able to force the test-positives to get the vaccine.

My friend in the hospital supposedly "tested positive for covid."  Her brother immediately ran out and got tested, and tested positive---even though he'd tested negative a week and a half or so before, when he flew in to take care of his sister.  Now he's self-quarantining for the next week and a half.  

Me, I went to the hospital and talked to the people there; said that a friend in the hospital had suddenly tested covid-positive; was there anything I needed to do?  Oh, no, they said---you can come visit.  Just let 'em take your temperature at the door, and they'll give you an extra mask or whatever when you go in to see her.

The "testing" hysteria is almost worse than the mask hysteria.

Occasional Reader 1/3/2021 9:09:24 AM

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In #5 buzzsawmonkey said: I blush to confess I don't know the setup.

Eh, no need to blush, it's a joke me Dad told me when I was a kid (which then became kind of a running joke in the family), no reason for you to know it.

So:

A young man is traveling west by train across the US on his way to California, some time in, say, the late 1930s.  The train makes a stop at a small town in South Dakota.  The young man decides to take a walk around town; he asks locals about what local color there may be.  A store owner tells him:  "Go to the town square, and if you're lucky, Chief Red Deer will be sitting in his usual spot.  He's the oldest Indian in these parts, and the thing is, he has a perfect memory - hasn't forgotten a single event, from a single day, in his life.'" 

Impressed, the young man heads to the town square, and indeed, there's an ancient-looking American Indian, wrapped in blanket, sitting on a bench. The young man approaches him.  "Hello!  Are you Chief Red Deer?"

"Yes" replies the Indian, laconically.

"They tell me you have a perfect memory, you haven't forgotten a single day in your life, is that true?" 

"Yes," replies the Indian.

The young man thinks a moment, and then says:  "So you'd have been in this area when General Custer came through, right?"

"Yes,'"  replies the Indian. 

"So if you have a perfect memory, tell me this; on his first morning here, what did General Custer have for breakfast?", the young man asks, with a sneer.

 "Eggs," replies the Indian.

At that moment the train whistle blows, and realizing he might miss the train, he hastily excuses himself, and dashes back to board.

Five years later, the young (now, not as young) man is traveling back east by train; and wouldn't you know, the train makes a stop at that same South Dakota town.  The young man takes a walk; and is astonished to see Chief Red Deer, sitting in his usual spot in the town square.

The young man approaches him, and raises his hand in greeting, with a cheery "how!".

"Scrambled," replies Chief Red Deer. 

buzzsawmonkey 1/3/2021 9:12:42 AM

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Reply to Occasional Reader in 9:

HA!!!!!!

Occasional Reader 1/3/2021 9:51:05 AM

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Reply to buzzsawmonkey in 10:

Of course, that joke is literally an act of genocide against Native Americans...

Kosh's Shadow 1/3/2021 2:36:34 PM

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Reply to Occasional Reader in 11:

I think they massacred the thread

Kosh's Shadow 1/3/2021 3:03:52 PM

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An artist was commissioned to paint a mural about Custer's Last Stand.

After months of work, during which no one was allowed to see the work, he unveiled it for the curator.

"What's all this? A fish with a halo? Fornicating Indians?! How is this about Custer"

You asked me to paint what was in Custer's mind - "Holy Mackerel, look at all those fucking Indians!"